New doulas always want to know how to comfort folks during the birth process. How do you know when and what to do, or what to say? The truth is, the biggest thing you can do for your clients is realize YOU ARE NOT THE ONE WHO BIRTHS THE BABY. Your clients are capable, and strong. Their bodies know what to do. If you can remember that, you WILL know what to do.
Set your intention: How do you want your clients to FEEL about themselves and their bodies?
- Strong
- Capable
- In touch with their bodies
- Like THEY are the ones who give birth to their babies, (not you!)
How to always “do” the “right” thing:
- See your client and biology as capable, functional, strong and able!
- Understand the harm of being impatient
- Watch what they are instinctively trying to do and help them to do it more confidently, more expressively, more openly, more calmly
- Your approach is ALWAYS to instill confidence – nourish their body and their mind and their spirit so THEY can give birth to their baby in whatever way / rhythm / timeline is going to happen.
- Support the natural physiology, create an environment and an attitude that is supportive of this.
- PREP THEM, REMIND THEM: SLOW BIRTH IS VERY NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!
Take time to Watch, Listen and Pause:
- What is their body trying to do?
- Where are they holding tension?
- Are they trying to run away from their bodies or are they finding their way through surrendering into it?
- Listen! Leave the room and listen for a few minutes. This will often “tell” you what to do more than anything else.
- Pause. Is doing anything necessary? Why am I tempted to do what I want to do? Is it for me or is it for her? Am I dragging my last birth into this one or am I being really present HERE?
Do a self check-in:
- What is telling me my suggestions or tools might be helpful for drawing the client more into their confidence, patience, strength?
- Am I helping or disturbing? Am I comforting or distracting?
- Am I bored? impatient? Do I have somewhere else I would rather be? Am I impatient for myself?
- Am I tired? Is it the client that needs help or is it me?
- Is it the client’s signals telling me that these tools are needed, or is it a vibe I’m picking up from someone else in the room? Are THEY tired, nervous, hungry, impatient?
What can you do to protect or create an environment that supports the physiologic process?
Things that would support a feeling of:
- safety
- calm
- familiarity
- quiet
- focus
- “non-interference” “non-distraction”
- feeling cared for and believed in
Dim lights. Quiet. Familiar Music. Candles. Privacy. Slow breaths. Feel relaxed and calm and at ease in YOUR body, so your client and others in attendance mimic you! Protecting a calm space is one of your biggest roles!
Remember – you KNOW how to provide comfort. You are a smart, compassionate human who knows how to look at another human and know how to meet their needs. If you imagine taking birth OUT of the equation and remember this is just a normal experience for people, you will know what to do. What would you do for ANYONE if they were having back pain – perhaps a hot water bottle, encouraging stretches, or a bath, or a massage. Muscle tension – probably more warmth, a bath or shower, more massage! Feeling hot? Feeling cold? Hungry? Thirsty? Birth is a healthy biological state to be in. Tune in to your human self and you will know what to do to comfort others in this normal human experience. Don’t over complicate it!
Whether you are a brand new doula or have 100 births under your belt, this training will open your mind and your heart and take your work to a whole new level of understanding and perspective.
Click here for course dates.
A class for trained doulas who want to expand their skills in comfort measures (including birth pool set up!) with a “wise” perspective.
Click here for course dates.